How Did I Become Codependent?
There are many ways that people become codependent.
Codependency is often a response to the memory of a painful event.
At some point in your past you experienced pain.
Maybe someone reacted in a hurtful way when you expressed yourself honestly and directly.
Maybe someone physically or psychologically abused you.
Maybe you lost a loved one when you were young.
Codependency as a Defense Mechanism
In order to protect yourself from feeling that pain again you created the belief that the world is not a safe place.
You decided that it’s not safe to express yourself honestly and directly to others so you created a false persona for dealing with the world.
You feel a need to control or manage other people in order to prevent the experiencing pain as a result of their actions.
Now you limit your life by trying to avoid causing them to have certain experiences or perceptions.
We Inherit Personal Boundaries From Our Parents
It’s also possible that you are codependent because your parents were codependent.
We inherit our personal boundaries from our parents by unconsciously learning behaviors and beliefs at an early age.
We learn their rules about how the world works.
If one or both of your parents is codependent and has weak personal boundaries, you probably inherited these weak boundaries without realizing it.
Whose Fault is Codependency?
Codependency is not anyone’s fault.
Becoming codependent is not a decision that you made. Codependency is the result of beliefs and thought patterns that you formed or adopted unconsciously.
Now you’re becoming consciously aware of these patterns.
The only thing that matters now is that you stay centered in your own experience and make choices that make you happy.
What kind of life would you like to choose now?